Anarchs are masters of Limbo’s raw matter,
But haven’t yet mastered the Scramblespeak patter.
Archonites worship, strange as it sounds,
Lanterns and trumpets and wardens and hounds.
Bleeders’re martyrs, that’s how they’re restricted;
Their injuries usually all self-inflicted.
Carpet Knightsh are fond of wine, women and shong,
And hic partying all night hic parrrrtying all nigh’ long!
Chippers are hardened, with hatred to spare,
Just ’cause the multiverse didn’t treat ’em fair.
Converts skip quickly from creed to creed,
Guess that’s ‘cos they’ll swallow any old screed.
Eaters are worse than your usual thief,
They ain’t after jink, but they’ll steal your belief!
Guardians step in when there’s wrongs that need righting,
Battling evil, and going down fighting.
Illuminated seek out and out war,
From their secret base in darkest Plague-Mort.
Incantifiers guzzle magical forces –
Rods, staves and wands are their favourite courses.
The Legislate run a tight old ship,
You’ll follow their laws or else they’ll flip.
Mathematicians live by the abacus,
And cosmological calculus.
Merkhants strive for cold hard jink,
They’ve no real interest in how you think.
Opposers will argue, and get in the way,
And contradict loudly whatever you say.
Planarists want Primes out the City of Doors,
“Send ’em all back” is their charter’s main clause.
Planes-Militant live for sweetness and light –
No wonder tanar’ri will kill ’em on sight!
Plane Tenders’re friends to all who’d promise
To help them stop planes slide into the Abyss.
Primals are coy about what they believe,
But it’s likely they’ve got some weird tricks up their sleeve.
Prolongers exist at others’ expense,
With Death at their backs, they’re wise to be tense.
Ragers are always first into the fray,
Take my advice and stay out of their way!
Revivalists seek to turn the clock back,
Returning the planes to a glorious track.
Ring-Giver creed is karma pursuing,
Give just a bit, and find plenty accruing.
Shadows are masters of intrigue and stealth,
You can bet that their plans’ll be bad for your health!
Symmetrists managed to cause an outrage,
By announcing they wanted to shut down the Cage!
Vile Hunters will try, however they can,
To destroy any beast that talks like a man.
Wylders love nature, but of this fact take note:
They cherish both lamb and the wolf at its throat.
Xaoticians look for order in chaos,
But it doesn’t always herring gnirreh wobble wobble.
Source: “Twenty Seven Tenets” poem by Phil Smith and Jon Winter-Holt; sect entries edited by Greg Jensen and Jon Winter-Holt, mimir.net