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The Barmy Mimir

What's Rattling my Cage Today?


No, Don't Run Away, Berk!

Just because I'm barmy don't mean I can't help ya, now. And look, I'm locked up in a Cage -- just like we all are -- so I can't bite ya. Much.
"Home, home on the planes
Where the baatezu and tanar'ri play
Where seldom is heard, an optimistic word,
'Cause all the mortals were killed today..."

Odds and Sods

The mind ain't what it used to be, berk. I once knew a lot of darks, more than there are modrons in Mechanus, but something snapped. I've lost the plot in a big way, and my chant is fragmented into thousands of tiny pieces. Some I can remember, some I forget. You'll have to bear with me a spend a bit of time asking questions if you want my answers...

Here's a list of what I can remember at the present...

Barmy to the SpireBarmy to the Spire

A cant phrase meaning rather more than just "barmy", this is a collection of chant that can only be described as insane. Humourous stories, pun-creatures, wacky philosophies and much more can be found here, in the Mimir's updated-more-than-weekly new section. Boing!

Mephit Messages

Make allies respect you and enemies fear you by talking like an fiend! How? Send a mephit message, of course! Thanks to a nefarious blackmail scheme, Voilá! has forced Sigil's Mephit Lord to allow you cutters to send mephits absolutely free...surely this is the most hende way to talk to other planewalkers there is!

Economy of the Planes

Primes have names for coins, and so do planars. Except on the infinite planes, there's a damn sight more names. I don't claim to know all of them, but if you ask nicely, and I'm in a remembering mood, I'll tell you about the ones I've encountered. Why spend gold when you can spend the trapped souls of petitioners? Learn what to call a silver piece without embarrasing yourself in Sigil, and find out whether a möbius is worth fifty torus, or the other way around. It wouldn't do to get sold a black diamond now, would it?


Voilá! tells me that you'll have some use for these bits and pieces. I don't understand what he's talking about, be he seems to think you will. Half of them are nicked from other mimirs anyway; why you need to be able to download them I'll never understand. Anyway, my wish is your command...how does that go again?

A Mimir @ GenCon

The Mimir visited the 1999 GenCon fair to pick up the dark on the future of Planescape, AD&D and Planescape:Torment. With daily exclusive pictures and interviews from the COnvention, here's the result!


I have a special kind of sympathy for these bloods, you know. Can't think why. Anyway, this chant was smuggled out of the Gatehouse at great cost by a cutter who'd prefer to remain nameless. Right you are too, Kylie. Xideous would be very proud of you, you little pike. Where was I? Oh yes, here's some barmy sods the Bleakers didn't want you to find out about. Always glad to be of service!

Fortune TellersThe Barmy Mimir

Hanging around the Great Bazaar does funny things with your brain-box, or so I've been led to believe. Here then are six cutters who've done nothing but that for longer than I care to remember. They're certainly a bit odd, because they claim to be able to tell your future. Or change it, or prevent it, or imagine it. Cross their palms with silver, if you're interested, or let me save you the trouble and tell you all about them.

Lexicon Planareae


Dozens of planewalkers tell me their chant and many others show me their journals. The Lexicon is a record of stories I've picked up, not unlike diseases, on my travels here and there. You'll surely find something you didn't know if you ask a planewalker...

metal bar
[Thanks to Ralph Gadbois and Jesse Dean for the "Home on the Range" parody]

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