Any Street, any Ward (but originally the Clerks’ Ward)
This house was built a while ago by a wild mage Xaotician known only as Mattados De’Mad. The chant goes that Mattados once wanted to build a house in the Cage but his various (invariably enchanted) houses kept lowering the property value and the mage kept getting chased off by angry locals. Anyways after he was evicted by a Harmonium strike-force last time, he decided to build a house that reflected his personality and wouldn’t stay around long enough for anyone to raise a lynch mob. Mattados eventually disappeared and is presumed dead but the house still acts as chaotically as ever.
The house takes on many appearances. It can be stone, wood, rubber, or any other substance with any variation in colour. It can be gothic, simple, a fun house, Exc. But there are a few things that never change. It is never more then two storeys and there is always room for a six foot high thee foot wide door on the side closest to the nearest open space.
The inside generally reflects the outside…. but not always. However, there are a few rooms whose fixtures seem permanent even though their appearances change as much as the rest of the house. The walls and doors can shift suddenly, sometimes killing unlucky guests, though oddly enough no wild mage or Xaotician has ever been harmed in this way…
Portal Room: In a large central room rests a large portal filled with swirling colours. The portal will place the user somewhere random in the house, or Sigil, or anywhere on the Outer Planes. Chant goes wild mages and Xaoticians have a 50% chance to choose where they are going.
Large Throne: This throne radiates strong magical power and odd things have been known to happen to those sitting in it. Not advised by this mephit!
Miniature Golems:Â These golems look like multicoloured rag dolls of random shapes and sizes. They look weak but hidden inside their tiny rag doll bodies is an iron framework. [The constructions have the same immunities as normal golems but can only cause 1 HP of damage a round. It may seem like a trifling amount, but you won’t think so after the hundreds of them that lurk around the house swarm onto you!] They appear to attack at random but there is no record of a Xaotician or wild mage being hurt by them.
Magic: The house was originally constructed in the Clerks’ Ward (the location is long forgotten), but has since been observed in all of the wards. Appearing randomly anywhere within the Cage, the house is at most the size of a large cottage but it is at least twice as big inside and sometimes is hundreds of times bigger. The house defies all description because of its magical nature but frequently appears in places it is not wanted (on other roof tops, in flower gardens, in front of the doors to a temple; anywhere where the front door won’t be blocked). Fortunately for those invaded by it, the house shifts away again after a day or sometimes less.
Source: Matt T.
