The Tailor
The Tailor

The Tailor

The Tailor

Prime xixchil wizard [he/him] / Transcendent Order / LN

“I am Tailor. I mend. I stitch. I sew. But not cloth, I sew flesh.

“Needle and thread, sinew and muscles. I snip and tuck and change. Are you not happy with your face? Do you want the muscles where you have none? What, are you too lazy to work for them, yes? Aha! I am Tailor, and I sew flesh!

“Some cutters (haha!) wish they were different from how they are now, and it’s those that I help. For the right garnish, of course! Magic can be used, but it is not always as good. There are spells, berks, that reverse the effects of magic, or perhaps they do not last long. Or if you are Athar and live by the Spire it is bad! So, if you want it to stick, and to last, you come to me and I fix it for you.

“What can I mend? Anything you want, blood (haha!) I can make you look older or younger or thinner or fatter. I can make you more beautiful or less. Or perhaps you are a man and want to be a woman. Or the other way around. Or if you want to be an elf or have wings or two heads or less legs. You fleshy ones are so very strange. I can change anything, if you want. So, cutter what will it be? Remove those big ears? Add some fingers? No? Don’t leave…I haven’t started yet…”

— The Tailor

The tailor is a strange creature from a strange place; an insectile xixchil from the depths of Wildspace. Somehow, in the long history of the race, the insectoids mastered the medical arts, learned anatomy and surgery, and never looked back: of all the known races none understand how to change the natural form better than these beings. It evolved into something of a religion for the race.

While most xixchil dwell in Wildspace on living ships and on prime worlds and asteroids well-connected to major trade routes (for surgery is expensive, and therefore their clients must have money), a scant few have migrated to the planes. The Tailor is one of the few xixchil seen in Sigil, and certainly the most talented.

For a fee, and better believe it ain’t a cheap one, the Tailor will change you. For better or worse you can’t be sure, but the utter is skilled enough to be able to perform most miracles you can think of. You’ll get what you ask for, alright, but there might be expenses other than just jink. There was a basher once who asked to be able to run as fast as a cheetah. Well, he got his wish, plus an extra four furry yellow legs. Hasn’t a race since, mind…Some wisecrackers call him the Wishcutter, for he’ll cut your wishes from whatever cloth you give him, and like the mighty wizard spell wish you can almost bet on it that you’ll get something rather different than what you’d intended.

It’s well-known that the Harmonium keep a sharp eye on the Tailor’s activities, through vigilant bloods like Malkalotl. The lawful faction seem to believe the Tailor is perverting some natural laws somewhere along the line, but they’ve never been able to prove it in the City Court. However, more disturbingly, they’ve managed to link the Tailor several times to Anarchist agents looking for a convincing disguise they can use to infiltrate a faction or escape the law. It’s rumoured that Zeines Pauch has gone under the Tailor’s needle and thread more than once for starters. It also seems to be a fad amongst certain Xaosmen to change one’s body with unhealthy regularity, but the Tailor is a highly methodical cutter and their scramblespeak annoys him. More than one such basher has woken up with a new body but also unable to talk!

Wooly Cupgrass is apparently interested in employing the Tailor’s services to change him from a bariaur to a humanoid. Chant goes the basher is deeply unhappy with his current caprine form, and is prepared to go to great lengths to change things. It’d be the most ambitious task yet undertaken by this surgeon, but for the right price (said to be in the tens of thousands of jinx) he’s willing to undertake it.

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Source: Jon Winter-Holt,

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