Great Modron Conspiracy
Great Modron Conspiracy

Great Modron Conspiracy

The Great Modron Conspiracy

The Paranoid Philosophical Rantings of Agnossus the Chipper

Agnossus is a blood who’s braver than most. Not only does call one of the least hospitable Outer Planes ‘home’ — that’s Pandemonium to you, cutter — he’s also got a voice strong enough that his words are heard in Sigil when he says ’em. Not literally of course, berk, metaphorically. See, Agnossus is a high-up in the Dispossessed, a loose gathering of exiles and castoffs of society who’ve found their way to Pandemonium and, for their own reasons, stay there. There’s a picture of him below — a self-portrait no less.

Agnossus the Chipper

Now, he may be bitter and twisted for his own good reasons (the chant goes he was once a Mathematician who was expelled from the faction when he ‘proved’ two and two can sometimes make three), or he might have tumbled to some dark he’s not about to spread. Well, whatever it is, he’s fanatical about one thing: Modrons.

See, Agnossus is convinced the Modrons are the ones pulling the strings of the Multiverse. Some time ago, they learned the secret of their plane and it’s place in the the Great Ring. That’s how come they’re always out controlling the gears and cogs — every time they alter the speed or angle of one of those little things, they set Mechanus spinning into an alternative future. By subtly controlling the working of their own plane, they shape the destiny of the others. What starts at one point in the Ring soon spreads right around it, Agnossus says.

Thinking about it, you’ve got to concede he’s got a point. Of all the planeborn races (baatezu, tanar’ri, archons, rilmani and the rest), the modrons seem to be the ones most in tune with their plane. Perhaps it’s because they’re the most organised that they found the answer first, or maybe it’s just a luck thing (not that modrons believe in luck). Agnossus admits there’s probably more than one way to control the future (and perhaps as many as one per Outer Plane), but reckons the modrons got there first.

He draws this map for doubters, which shows how the planes all lock into the central hub, which is in turn cranked around by Mechanus. From the Plane-Machine spews the Astral as noxious fumes which envelop the Prime with their Psychic Winds — again, all controlled from the Central Machine in Mechanus. The bobbing of the Primes in turn churns up the Ether, and the Ether Cyclones are what cause the Inner Planes to spin on their axis. It’s all a great chain of cause and effect…

If you needed more evidence (and I never say no to a bit of proof myself), take the Modron March. Every 17 cycles, Mechanus spews forth a great horde of Modrons who make the journey all around the Great Ring. They’re the only planeborne race to leave their home plane en mass (apart from the Blood Warring fiends), and certainly the only ones who tramp so far for so little obvious gain.

They’re checking up on their work; says Agnossus; making sure every manipulation they’re working on is going exactly to plan. You might have heard the modrons don’t ever need to fear death either — when one’s destroyed it’s energy somehow makes its way back to Primus, where it is reformed into a new modron. How? Who knows! That’s part of their secret.

The modron race is also aparently the only one to have a quasi-power leader unifying them all. Sure, the tanar’ri have their powers, but they’re hardly a unified force. The rest of the races have high-ups, but nothing quite so magnificent as Primus. Since modrons don’t worship, or even seem to be aware that Primus exists themselves, and there certainly ain’t priests of Primus en masse in the planes, where does this enigmatic being get its power? That’s another part of their secret.

‘Course, I’m calling it the ‘secret’, but in fact it’s all a Conspiracy. ‘Least, that’s what Agnossus says. As they manipulate the planes, they determine when and where folks get put in the Dead-Book, the ebb and flow of the Blood War, the Winds of the Astral, the Tides of War on the Prime, and even the mixing of the Elements on the Inner Planes. Through their gears, they can lock or unlock any portal (it’s common chant they’ve got a Labyrinthine Portal on Mechanus, but not many bloods know about the portals they can open up anywhere in the Multiverse), and even the Lady’s influenced by their machinations.

Oh yes, cutter. If you believe the chant that Agnossus spreads, you’d better watch out the next time you call a modron a ‘rorty cube’. it might be the last thing you say…

Source: Jon Winter-Holt, artwork by Chris Appelhans

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