The Strangest Berks are Coming to Town
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The Strangest Berks are Coming to Town
Oh, you better not lie,
You better not cheat,
Don’t get caught doing crimes on the street,
Old Krampus is coming to town!
He’s checkin’ his list,
Are you feeling brave?
Gonna catch children who misbehave,
Old Krampus is coming to town!
He sees you when you’re schemin’,
He knows when you’ve told lies,
He’ll drag you screaming to the Pit
To your festive demise!
Oh, you better not steal,
Give up all your vice,
Good kids taste foul, but the naughty taste nice,
Old Krampus is coming to town!
Oh, you better not cheat,
Better not shirk,
Better not scowl when she’s eyein’ your work,
Old Perchta is coming to town!
She’s checkin’ your threads,
She’s countin’ your chores,
If you’ve been lazy, she’ll knock down yer doors,
Old Perchta is coming to town!
She’ll gut you like a goose, berk,
She’ll snip you down the seam,
She’ll fill your belly full of stones
And sink you in the stream!
So you better not slack,
You better not stall,
Keep the loom spinnin’ or she’ll gut you all,
Old Perchta is coming to town!
Oh, you better not cry,
You better not run!
You’re lookin’ like dinner and the giants want some,
Old Grýla is coming to town!
She’s sniffin’ the air,
She’s stalkin’ the kip,
She’s hungry for children whose morals have slipped,
Old Grýla is coming to town!
Her cauldron’s always boilin’,
Her pantry’s never bare,
If you’re not dressed in nice new clothes
She’ll eat you medium rare!
Oh, you better not shout,
You better not fight,
Her cat and her lads will give you a fright,
Old Grýla is coming to town!
Oh drag marks in the snow,
And hoof prints on the street,
If you ever see ’em, berk,
Best turn heel and retreat!
So you better stay clean,
Don’t gamble your fate,
Or you’ll hear chains clanking at your gate,
The Strangest berks are coming to town!
You better be good,
Don’t end up as prey,
‘Cause Strangers are hungry for scoundrels today!
The Strangest berks are coming to town!
