“You are what you Think”
Well, that’s what my old tiefling aunt used to say, at least. Or was she a githzerai? Memory ain’t what it used to be, cutter. When you’ve seen as much as I have, you tend to forget the first things you knew.
One thing I have learned and remembered though, is that it pays to be open minded. Everyone knows the maxim: “There’s another side to every coin”, but only real bloods are brave enough to flip the coin and actually embrace the other side.
See, on the Planes, where what you think really matters, it’s important you know how to think properly. Confused? Maybe I shouldn’t ramble on. After all, I paid enough bloody jink to Julius to record the damn speech on morals he gives to any Prime he can bob into listening in my mimir. May as well shut up and let you hear what he had to say on the subject.
Narrator: Julius the Symmetrical
You want a Lecture on Morals?
You’ve got one. You’ve come to the right blood too. I don’t work for the powers, so I don’t have ulterior motives. You want to be evil? Go ahead. So long as you pay me like we agreed, you can be as bad as a balor, for all I care. For every berk bent on wickedness, there’s a potential deva in the making.
They call me Julius the Symmetrical. The badge? That means I’m in the Athar, basher. The Athar? You are Outsiders, to be sure. I’ll go slowly for you.
Contradictions in Terms
There are seventeen Outer Planes on the Great Ring. Most planes have many layers, and most layers are at least infinite in size. I can see you’re already wide eyed. That’s good. Imagine each layer as a huge sheet of parchment in a book. On each page there’s themes, concepts and related ideas. These are the towns, Realms and sites which make up each plane. Each embodies an attitude, a piece of spirit, a mood. Every belief any blood’s ever thought up is represented somewhere, pure or perverse, virtuous or vile. There’s room for everyone’s dreams on the planes.
It’s easy for an over-zealous berk to get so tied up with the merits of his own biases that he doesn’t see the failings. If law were really better than chaos, then everyone’d be lawful, right? Where’s the value in being evil? For that matter, where’s the dilemma in being good? And if they’re all flawed, then why not neutrality?
As any Cager knows there’s always another side to every coin. Good is never pure white, and evil’s rarely as dark as it seems. Is there a bad side to what seems like a good idea? Can kindness ever come from evil intentions?
That’s where it all begins to fall apart, bashers. See, the religions, they’re all biased. That comes from the powers really, since they’re as single-minded as bloody Indeps. What one priesthood considers the zenith of purity could be taken for a deadly sin by another. Who’s right? Both, and neither. It depends on where you stand.
With all these possibilities, what’s a blood to do? Listen berks, if I knew the answer to that, then I wouldn’t be selling my speeches to Clueless like you, would I!
There’s no better bloods to ask about answers than the ones who believe in them – or don’t, as the case may be. Now petitioners exist only because of their beliefs, so they’re a good place to start. Of course, I can’t just drag that many petitioners around with me; for a start they’ve mostly got better things to do than talk to Primes, and as you can see this lecture theatre’s not big enough for them and you too. You’ll have to take my word for it that I’m representing them fairly.
I’ve travelled a long way in my time, and I’ve spoken to a lot of biased people. I’ve divided them into seventeen groups; one from each Outer Plane. ‘Course, you’d be a leatherhead (or a Guvner) if you though I could represent all belief so neatly into categories. Philosophers’ve been trying for centuries, and they’ve not reached a consensus. But having even a small glimpse is better than nothing, I say.
The petitioners I spoke to weren’t tied to any particular power (those sods tend to be so stubborn in their beliefs that they won’t even allow you to question them, assuming they let you into their bloody realm in the first place). No, I’ve concentrated on the Petitioners of the planes themselves, and sorted out what they believe from what they don’t believe. Sure, philosophers’ve done it before, but I’m different from them, see.
What so-called philosophers won’t do so readily is demolish the beliefs they’ve worked so hard to isolate. Well, maybe you’ll think I’ve done that, maybe you won’t. Most likely, the one you think still stands strongest after I’ve contradicted it describes what’s ideal for you. Like I said, I don’t care, so long as you pay up…
The Compassionate – Mount Celestia
Character
Society should care for all, no matter how weak or useless they may seem to be. Everyone has an equal right to life. The good and the civilised must care for one another. The strong should support the weak. The rich should help the poor. The stronger or richer you are, the more you should help those less fortunate than you. Only in this way can a spirit find true release and happiness. Of course, it’s best not to have people get into a plight in the first place. That’s why a society needs fair laws to set a framework of what’s permitted and not permitted. Never take advantage of those in a position below you, and always respect those above you. Consider the feelings of all in every action you take, and do nothing which is not for the good of society as a whole.
Contradiction
‘Don’t impose your morals on me!’ That’s what many folk would say to a Celestian. Why should I give what I worked hard for to someone who’s looking for an easy life? Who’d want to be powerful and rich if it meant being pestered by bubbers and knights of the cross trade all the time? When a berk no longer has to strive for a living, where does the motive to improve oneself go? Is it right to patronise those weaker than yourself with unwanted aid? And what is it that makes you such a paragon of virtue yourself? Arrogance, that’s what. Do you see anything but the good side of someone? It’s better, surely, to be realistic and realise that some folk have hidden agendas. Don’t be so gullible that you believe everything you’re told.
The Equalitarian – Bytopia
Character
All beings are born equal. You make your own fate. Only by toiling and hard graft can you elevate yourself. Work well in all things, and you will achieve what you deserve. Life is an auction, and those who bid the highest stakes will reap the greatest rewards. Help others, but help them to help themselves first. Charity is worthless if those who you aid don’t take steps to improve themselves. If someone is willing to make an effort then they deserve as much help as you can give. There is no room for free-loaders or slackers, and do not feel guilty about their fate – they chose it for themselves.
Contradiction
Equalitarians maybe don’t always see the whole picture. Perhaps your fate isn’t entirely controllable by your own hand; some sods just have hard lives. Other have bad luck. Can you control whether you’re handsome or ugly as sin? An equalitarian would just shrug and say: ‘Probably. Try harder’. That’s a little cold sometimes, when all a body’s looking for is a handout to see him through the night. Why should folk have to try and fit in to a society which doesn’t treat them right, anyway? Are there enough jobs to go round? What if you don’t know anything useful? What if you’re crippled or insane; how then do you make yourself useful to society?
The Altruist – Elysium
Character
Take it upon yourself to help someone in need. It doesn’t matter who they are, or who you are – if you are capable of helping someone then do so. If a rich man falls sick, and you are poor, then help him as you hope he would do for you. Do not expect gratitude or payment for your aid. Treat others as you expect to be treated yourself. Love your enemies as well as your friends – when they realise you treat them as equals then they will have no choice but to love you in return. Forgive the faults and misdeeds of others.
Contradiction
‘Altruists are fools!’ scream some. ‘Never trust your enemy! What he did once, he’ll do again!’ Can an opponent be reformed by your own good acts? Altruists like to think so, but is this a realistic attitude? Would you let a bebilith babysit your children? Exactly! Forgiveness is all very well, but don’t expect others to respect you the next day. If they realise you’re a doormat, then expect them to wipe their feet on your face.
The Instinctive – The Beastlands
Character
Life is a complicated environment. Some will win, and some will lose. Protect those close to you, like your family, and help to see they it is they who win. Strive to do the best for yourself. Set an example for others to follow. Do not put others down in order to rise above them, for this is selfish. Advance yourself by improving the way you do things. Compete, but do not let competition drive you away from doing good. Do not take what you do not need, and do not waste resources. Help others if it does not endanger yourself. Everyone is important in the grand scheme, even the most lowly, so do not take advantage of those weaker than yourself.
Contradiction
This is how animals think, and they’re not exactly as smart as humanoids, are they? It’s all very well to conserve things, but the multiverse is a big place. What you spend your life saving is nothing compared with the infinity that surrounds everyone. Do you really think your little bit counts that much? A bit of selfishness makes your life so much easier, and if you’re striving to be the best, then surely you’re contradicting yourself by not taking this advantage?
The Go-Lucky – Arborea
Character
Life is precious, and none more so than your own. You are the only one to care for yourself so much, so make sure you look after your interests. Live to make each moment count. Life can be short, so live it for yourself, and allow others to do the same. Help them if it pleases you, because you cannot be happy if those around you are miserable. Care for those you love, but do not love lightly. Do not accept help if you do not need it, and likewise, do not offer aid unless asked first.
Contradiction
Some folk are hot-headed, and it leads them to trouble. Some are fickle, and treat different people in different ways. Some cannot direct their lives, and wander aimlessly from event to event with no plans or ambition. Go-luckies are all three of these. How can you hope to be successful if your attitudes are shaped not by yourself, but by those around you? Take control of your life, and get some discipline!
The Individual – Ysgard
Character
Depend upon nobody except yourself. You are the only person you can afford to rely on, because only you know what you really want. Be filled with courage, and act upon your desires. Do what you wish, but bear no malice towards those who do not wish to live as you do. Earn the respect of others by your brave acts. Prove you are worthy of their attention and admiration. Be an example to others, but do not force them to follow it. Do not agree unless you know what you hear to be true. Life is as good as you care to make it.
Contradiction
Why do teams exist? Because you’re stronger in one than against one. Going solo is often foolish; what makes you think you’re better than everyone else? Sheer arrogance, that’s what. Struggling to achieve everything seems a tiring way to live, when biting your tongue and for once not speaking your mind could get you so much further. If you never do anything except what you want to do, who washes the dishes? Besides, doing things you don’t like doing is character-building.
The Free – Limbo
Character
Do nothing you do not want to do. Do not be bound by the laws of others, for they do not have your best interests at heart. Laws are made by those who serve themselves, so let your laws be your own and change them when you wish. Do not be set in your ways. It is not weak to change your mind. It is weak to stick to beliefs which are no longer the truth. Enjoy life while it lasts, for happiness is transient. See as much as you can. There’s beauty in not knowing what’s coming around the next corner; surprises are fun and stop a body getting stuck in the dreary ruts of life. Live to act – do not make assumptions about what you haven’t experienced. Open your mind and learn!
Contradiction
‘If you want to be free, go somewhere else and do it.’ That’s the message from decent, law-abiding folk everywhere. ‘If your own company is so great, then why bother sticking around us and spoiling our plans?’ Contrary to some opinions, laws are often good things, made for the benefit of you and other people. Just because something is good for someone else doesn’t mean it can’t be good for you too. And if your mind is this uncontrolled, it’s not going to take much to push you that little step further, into a raving barmy.
The Paranoid – Pandemonium
Character
Live how you will, but be careful. They are out there, and they are after you. They are envious of you, of your possessions and accomplishments, of your spirit. Watch every shadow, and be wary of every footstep. They will not rest until they have what They want. Hide if you can, but be warned that in the end They will find you. Keep moving so They do not find you. Do not keep to routines. They could be anywhere, so take care of who you trust. Do not help others in case it is Them you are really helping. Choose your friends and allies wisely, because any one of them could be one of Them.
Contradiction
Those happy with their roles in society scoff at this idea. ‘I’ve never seen Them,’ they say, ‘and I think its plain silly to assume that that’s because They’re so well hidden.’ Why does life have to be a conspiracy? Can’t a body take the fact that some folk are unlucky? Get help, berk, because your life’s weird! Open your eyes, come out from under the sheets and take a look under the bed. Don’t see anything? Exactly. That’s because there ain’t anything there.
The Malicious – The Abyss
Character
You owe others nothing. Everyone is self-serving. Putting the interests of others over those of yourself is foolish. Obeying laws which do not serve you is weak. Stand up to your oppressors, make them fear you instead. Let them feel the lash of their own whips on their skins. Take what you can, because life is short and harsh. People may pretend to care, but they are trying to win your confidence so they have power over you. Society exists only in the mind of fools – everyone really seeks their own personal gain. Strength is everything. Show others you are not weak, then you will not have to fear their betrayal.
Contradiction
Maybe this’d be true, if you lived in the Abyss. Thing is, most people don’t. Once someone starts acting like this, it’s a slippery slope to chaos, because to get ahead, other have got to be like this too. Any if everyone’s malicious, well, then you’ll all be in the Abyss soon enough! Some folk do care! Why the conspiracy theory? Can’t you see that it’s only you who’s so twisted inside, and that other people get their kicks out of helping people, rather than causing pain and suffering? You fight, struggle and wage war on everything, so what happens when you lose? Annihilation! Wouldn’t it be more intelligent to take things slowly, and consolidate power by gaining a bit of trust?
The Bitter – Carceri
Character
Others have what you do not. Nobody gets anything without treading on someone else’s feelings to get it. The ones who deserve to win will never win. There is always a bigger struggle beyond the horizon. The harder you try, the more they take away from you, so why bother? Life is not fair, because you can’t win. Everyone dies in the end. You are trapped in the cage of society. If you can, slip between the bars and escape. Break their rules, else you will never get what you want. Steal if you dare, but don’t expect them to be merciful if they catch you.
Contradiction
Obstacles you face are largely of your own creation. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Work honestly for what you want; don’t try to stab others in the back, or you’ll be too busy watching your own back to get anywhere. Trust people, don’t spread rumours which you know you can’t justify – if you upset a real blood you might not get a second chance.
The Callous – Gray Waste
Character
Why care? Does anybody else really care? You are born, some live, all die. Does it really matter when? Sure, there is pain, but that is only brief. Emotions are muted, everything is too transient. People are shallow, so why should you respect them? Do not care what others think of you – it is not your problem. Try to make the misery you feel lessen for yourself. That is what everyone else does, but they don’t care about you. Work for yourself, and don’t be afraid to do what you need in the course of that work. Make yourself numb, and the hurt will go away. The ends always justify the means.
Contradiction
The ultimate in self-centeredness, this is. Just because people don’t give a damn about you doesn’t mean people don’t give a damn. Maybe you’re obnoxious, miserable and introverted. Berks won’t make an effort if you don’t; sell yourself and try to feel a bit of love. It might sound sickly, but they say that you are what you feel. If you’re cold inside, you’re cold outside too, and other folk can feel it. Empathy’s what’s lacking here, severely.
The Avaricious – Gehenna
Character
Hierarchies are only useful so you know where to aim next. Work your way into power, and guard your back. If you can achieve power, so can others. Give nothing away, for gifts only weaken your position. You have to fight for what you deserve, so make sure others have to do the same. Take what you can from other people. Weakening others can only strengthen yourself. Anything that will let you get ahead has got to be good. Earn people’s trust, as this gives you power over them. Let nobody do the same to you. See the selfish motives behind everyone’s actions, and be happy you are careful.
Contradiction
Companionship? Trust? Friends? Any of these words ring bells, berk? No? It’s me, me, me, ain’t it! Stop for a second and think: wouldn’t it be nice to have a friend? Someone who remains with you not because you pay them, or because you’ve got them chained up, but because they feel you’re the sort of person they aspire to be? Like, even? Teamwork, that’s the concept: you spend so much time concerned with holding on to your ill-gotten gains that you’re wasting time you could be getting your grubby hands on other people’s jink. Maybe that’s a good thing, for the rest of us, at least.
The Tyrant – Baator
Character
Work to advance yourself in society. Use the laws to aid you, and punish those who do you wrong. Look after number one, and use any means you can to further your own interests. Break laws if you dare, for there are others like you who will use whatever they can against you. Conform, and make sure others do as well, for your own good. If they cheat, make sure you catch them first! Grind them beneath your feet once you have finished with them. Follow your laws to the letter, not the spirit – so long as you do not break them you are safe. There is an advantage in every situation, and every law has its loophole. Find them!
Contradiction
Fear, pain and bribery, that’s what a society like this is based upon. The cutter offering the fattest garnish, or wielding the sharpest sword gets his way, not the one with the best ideas or the fairest attitude. Corruption is inherent in the system, and this breeds contempt, disillusionment and inefficiency. Of course, is the leader’s frightening enough then he’ll keep these rats of dissent gnawing quietly, in secret, rather then rattling their bone-boxes in public. But they’ll never go away. Rule by politics might be less bloody for the noble classes, but like breeds like, and a tyrannical society encourages all manner of law-breaking in the under classes: mugging, robbery, fraud, embezzlement. A lawful society based on who’s the best at breaking laws without getting caught? Does it sound like a bad idea to you? Thought as much.
The Obedient – Acheron
Character
Never question the rules, live your life by them. Fulfil them to the letter – there is no room in this life for those who make mistakes. Punish those who do wrong. If you know you are right, then any who stand against you are wrong. Persuade them by force if you must, but know that people are stubborn. If violence is the only redress then so be it. It is wrong to question everything; children ask questions, men know the answers. The leader has all the answers, and leadership is divine. Any punishment is legitimate for criminals – when they choose to break the laws they also choose to bear the consequences. Life brings only one choice: obey or do not. If you do not, expect no mercy from those who do.
Contradiction
If you don’t ask the questions, you’ll never find the answers for yourself. Even if the judgment of others is as good as you own (and I’m not even saying that’s true), then there’s no sin in exercising your opinion. That’s why you’ve got one, after all. If you behave like an automaton, you should expect to be treated like one. Individuals are, well, individual. Obeying something you don’t agree with is being a sheep at best, hypocritical at worst. And what of those who are unable to comply? Should they too be punished? And what when it’s you who can’t obey? Will you be so blindly patriotic then, berk?
The Conformist – Mechanus
Character
Every problem can be solved by thought. Consider your actions carefully, and make them all count. Follow the routine, because those who wrote it were wiser then you. Experience is to be respected. Trust the judgment of others, for it is as good as your own judgment. Laws are made for the benefit of all. If one inconveniences you, think of all those whose lives have been made easier. Do not place yourself above others; it is not your right to do so. Only those higher than yourself may raise your rank. Normality is perfection – observe your peers are be like them; this is natural and correct. You cannot win all the time. If you are wrong, then concede defeat nobly. Consider others; they have the same rights and feelings as yourself, so who is to say who is more important. The majority must prevail.
Contradiction
Become one with the crowd, and you’re lost in a sea of faces. What is ‘normal’, anyway? Even the modrons are different by degrees, so tarring everyone with the same brush is either inaccuracy, or laziness. Some cutters have special needs, or out-of-the-ordinary skills. Others need to be handled differently. You can average numbers, but you can’t average real people. Laws and bureaucracy come hand in fist; too many papers and officials and any semblance of efficiency goes out the window. A sod squashed by the weight of a law going against him isn’t consoled by the thought that his next-door neighbour’s all the happier. Such small seeds can spark the resentment that’s brought revolution and anarchy more than once before.
The Idealist – Arcadia
Character
Fight for what you know is right. You are guilty until you can redeem yourself. Everyone commits crimes. Dishonesty is mortality by nature, rise above this. Be perfect. Corruption is weakness. Live to the spirit of the law, but make sure you interpret the spirit correctly. Work for what you believe in. If you are worthy, you will be noticed. Strive to achieve greatness for yourself and your cause. There can be only one winning team, so make sure you are part of that team. If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem.
Contradiction
Banish the vices, and you’ve got a more ‘perfect’ society, but one that stagnates. Is a stagnant society perfect? No. Therefore this isn’t an answer. Why am I guilty? By whose judgment? Guilty of what? These questions aren’t answered by Idealists; they simply assume that since you’re alive, you must be guilty of something. If you weren’t you certainly wouldn’t be a mortal (or a petitioner); the perfect move on somewhere higher. As for the spirit of the law; there’s as many interpretations of each law as there are barmies in the Hive.
The Diplomat – The Outlands
Character
Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. If you think they are wrong, then so be it. You know what is best for yourself, but do not assume this it true of others. Point out their faults, but do not assume they do not already know them for themselves. Do not patronise others. They may be as intelligent as you, no matter how strong or weak they are. Balance in all things is precious. Strive to maintain the status quo. Do not try to convert others to your way of thinking. It does not suit all, so let them do it for themselves. Offer charity only when asked, and do not give unwanted advice. Your opinion matters, but only as much as the next opinion. Do not dominate others. Too much of anything is as bad as nothing at all.
Contradiction
On the planes, belief is everything. This is a vacuous hole in the concept of belief; a null choice. Can anything come from lack of action? Maybe, but what if the outcome is one which is bad? Do you chalk one up for evil and blandly say ‘the time for good will come’? Do you take direct action to ensure it comes sooner? How can a state in which you don’t pose any questions ever bring you answers? Or don’t you care about the answers?
Seems like Nobody’s got The Answer
Is there a right way to behave? A correct manner in which to think? A truly perfect system of belief? Perhaps there is, berks, but sure as Baator nobody’s found it yet, not even the Powers. That’d suggest to a blood that maybe there ain’t one after all, or maybe the Powers aren’t as divine as they claim. I’d say the latter, most likely, but then I’m biased too. See, on the Planes, bias is ingrained in our beings; we live, breathe and represent philosophy itself. He who finds the final answer will surely know the great darks of the multiverse.
Contradiction
Who says nobody knows the answer? Who says there is only one truth? For the question of belief, maybe everything’s the right answer…or maybe every being’s got it’s own special solution that only applies to it. It’s all very well to talk about the multiversal truth, but it’s a damn big place. I’d be surprised if there was only one truth for all of it. But then, I’ve been surprised before.
If you do find the answer, be sure to tell me, bloods.
Source: Jon Winter-Holt, mimir.net