Speak Like a Guvner
Speak Like a Guvner

Speak Like a Guvner

Speak Like a Guvner

While the plane of Mechanus thoughtfully and helpfully translates the speech of all its inhabitants and visitors to a single lingua franca, that doesn’t mean the locals don’t have their own slang as well. Like in Sigil, the Guvners of Mechanus have their own way of speaking common. Unlike the Cant of the Cage, the language they’ve evolved isn’t so obsessed with faction politics, mocking primes and cross-trading. Instead, the lawyers of the Fraternity of Order have developed a huge number of legalistic terms for use in philosophical and court documents.

If you’ve ever sat in on one of their sessions, you know they love to toss around words that’d make a berk’s head spin. It’s all part of their charm—or maybe their curse. Either way, here’s a handful of terms that’ll make you sound like you’ve been swimming in the law books of Mechanus for a few centuries. They might also come in handy if you find yourself on the wrong end of the long arm of the law.

The Cant of Mechanus

Actus reus
The criminal act itself, which must be proven beyond a reasonable doubt.

Absque hoc
A lovely little phrase meaning “without this.” It’s used to introduce a denial in legal pleadings. Imagine a Guvner saying, “Absque hoc, there’s no evidence the modron defendant ever left Mechanus.” It’s their way of saying, “Prove it, berk.”

Aequitas modronum
The “equity of the Modrons” refers to the principle that all beings, regardless of their nature, should be treated with the same fairness and precision as the modrons treat their tasks. It’s the Guvners’ way of saying everyone deserves a fair shake, even if it’s more about the process than the outcome.

Aphorism
A concise, laconic or memorable expression of a general truth or principle. Aphorisms are often handed down from generation to generation. For example, “Don’t judge a book by its cover.”

Apostasy
Abandonment or renunciation of a religion. Basically, any Athar who was formerly a believer. Apostasy may or may not be a crime depending upon juristiction.

Automatism
A legal defence that claims lack of culpability because the defendant was not responsible for their own actions, for example when under the influence of an enchantment, domination or possession.

Castle doctrine
Habitation law that permits a person who is in their abode, to use force to defend themselves from an intruder, free from legal prosecution for the consequences of the force used.

Cogito lex
“I think, therefore the law is.” It’s a philosophical principle held by some Guvners who believe that the very act of thinking about the law brings it into being. It’s a bit of a fringe belief, but it’s gained some traction among those who see themselves as the ultimate arbiters of order.

Contract law
When a contract creates a duty that does not exist in the laws of Mechanus, there are three things the parties can do wrong:

  • Nonfeasance is the failure to act where action was required—willfully or in neglect.
  • Misfeasance is the willful inappropriate action or intentional incorrect action or advice.
  • Malfeasance is the willful and intentional action that injures a party.

For example, if a cutter hires a chef to provide food and wine for a party, and the chef fails to show up, it is considered nonfeasance. If the chef shows up but provides only the food (but not wine, which was also paid for), it is considered misfeasance. If the chef accepts a bribe from a yugoloth to undercook the meat, thereby causing food poisoning, this is malfeasance.

Crime of omission
For example a city watchman who does not help someone who is being attacked.

Ex delicto
A circumstance that arises from a wrong; the consequence of a crime.

Ignorantia juris non excusat
A legal principle which states ignorance of a law is not an excuse for violating the law.

Inversa probatio
The “inverse burden of proof,” where instead of the accuser proving guilt, the accused must prove their innocence. It’s an extreme measure, used only in cases where the accused’s guilt seems overwhelmingly obvious—though that’s often up for debate.

Lèse-majesté
An offence against the reigning sovereign of a state.

Lex talionis
The law of retaliation. You do unto others as they’ve done unto you. In Mechanus, the punishment often mirrors the crime in a very literal, sometimes terrifying, way. You break a cog? They might just break your fingers in return.

Mayhem
The crime of intentionally mutilating another person. Originally this only included removal of body parts that would be useful in combat, but more recently it has included any form of mutilation or disfigurement.

Mens rea
The guilty mind of the cutter who commits a crime; it is important to prove mens rea to show the crime was intentionally performed.

Miscegenation laws
Rules which exist in some tyrannical, isolationist, and racist societies that outlaw sexual relations between beings of different ancestries, forbidding the intentional creation of nephilim, tiefling, aasimar or half-elves, for example.

Misprision
Concealment, or failure to report a crime, by one who knows it occurred but was not a party to it. Similarly, failure to attempt to prevent a crime that you are aware will occur.

Nuncupative
This one’s for those special occasions when someone’s given a will verbally instead of writing it down. Imagine a dying cutter, no time for quill and parchment, rattling off who gets his jink and his sword. It’s all about intent, see?

Obscuritas legis
The “obscurity of the law” is invoked when a legal text is so convoluted that even the Guvners themselves have a hard time interpreting it. In these cases, the law is temporarily set aside until it can be properly understood, often leading to intense debates and study sessions.

Periculum decursu
This is the “danger of delay” law, often cited when a decision must be made quickly to avoid catastrophic consequences. It’s invoked when waiting for all the facts could lead to worse outcomes. Imagine a Guvner using it to justify a snap judgment on a rogue modron.

Perjury
Intentional act of swearing a false oath to tell the truth in an official proceeding, either spoken or in writing. 

Praeter legem
Outside of the law—something that is not illegal, because there is no legislation forbidding it.

Prima facie
A legal term which means that upon first examination, sufficient corroborating evidence exists to support a legal case.

Probitas ultima ratio
Translates to “integrity as the final argument.” It’s a principle that’s invoked when all other legal options have been exhausted, and what’s left is the moral or ethical obligation. It’s a rare thing, but some Guvners hold to it like a creed.

Promulgation
This is the public announcement of a new law, after which time is can take effect. Universal laws come into effect three months after being published in the Acta Axiomata Sedis. Particular laws take effect one month after promulgation.

Regula ex machina
A rule that is derived directly from the mechanisms of the plane itself, almost as if Mechanus itself has decided a point of law. When this term is invoked, it’s a sign that the plane’s natural order is in perfect alignment with the ruling.

Res judicata
This one’s a favourite—means “a matter judged.” Once the courts in Mechanus have decided something, it’s done, dusted, and locked in the books. Good luck trying to argue against it after that.

Sumptuary laws
These are rules about which garments, materials, clothing or costumes are permitted to be worn by members of different social classes.

Tort law
A breach of tort law is an act that causes the victim to suffer harm or loss, but not a crime against the laws of Mechanus. Tort law may be used to deal with damages privately. Examples include slander, trespass or negligence.

Trespass
Intentional physical invasion of property belonging to another. Constructive trespass is outstaying your welcome, for example refusing to leave when instructed by the host.

Tu quoque
A debating technique that discredits the opponent’s argument by attacking the opponent’s personal behavior and actions as being inconsistent with their argument, therefore accusing hypocrisy. This specious reasoning is a special type of ad hominem attack.

Veritas circuitus
The “truth loop”—a term used when a case or argument keeps circling back to the same facts or evidence. It’s like a legal merry-go-round that the Guvners love to ride until every detail has been scrutinised to death.

Vinculum juris
The “binding of the law” refers to those rare laws that, once enacted, cannot be undone. They’re set in stone, sometimes literally in Mechanus. Invoke this, and you’re dealing with something eternal, whether that’s good or bad for you depends on where you stand.

Source: Jon Winter-Holt, mimir.net. Author’s Note: Many of these are real legal terms, with definitions tweaked to be more Planescape. There are also some completely mad eup terms that just seemed to be apt. Have fun working out which is which!

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