Red Death Blues
A song for Sigil’s Mercykillers — a berk in the Prison laments about his poor life choices.
Audible glamer by Jon Winter-Holt. With apologies to Johnny Cash
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Red Death Blues
I hear the Red Death comin’
The guard is strolling down the hall
And I ain’t seen the sunshine since the cycle before
I’m stuck in Sigil’s prison, and time keeps draggin’ on
I guess I’ve got it easy though, least I’m not in Acheron.
When I was just a piker, my tiefling mum said:
‘Always be a good boy, don’t animate the dead’.
But I raised me some zombies, and then it got messier!
I got scragged and hauled before factol Nilesia
She gave me an offer I couldn’t refuse,
And now I got the red death blues!
I bet there’s golden lords eating on that fancy strip
Just beyond the bars, of my Lady’s Ward kip.
They’re probably drinkin’ bub and smoking big cigars,
Getting friendly with ladies in the succubus bars.
Well I know I had it coming, I know I can’t be free
But I can hear those cutters laughin’
And that’s what tortures me!
I know it could be worse, could be stuck in Carceri,
One way trip to the Lower Planes, but that doesn’t bother me:
I know that I have gotta pay my dues
But berk I got the Red Death blues!
Well if they free me from this jail and let me out to live my life
I’ll kick the necromancy habit, maybe find myself a wife.
The dark side might be tempting but I gotta stand firm
They told me if I’m caught again I’m gonna face the worm!
But till that time I’m stuck here, mouldering away,
Just inches from the high life, but I can’t go out and play,
If I had my time again, it’s the last thing I would choose
Oh berk, I got the Red Death blues!
