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The Cager and the Goristro
“How do I keep a goristro?” asked a Cager one day,
“For I won ‘im this morning and I don’t know the way!”
“That’s easy,” said a tiefling, scratching his scales,
“You feed ‘im on dolphins and hump-backed whales!”
“Is that how I keep ya?” asked the man to his pet,
And the goristro shook his head.
“How do I keep a goristro?” asked a Cager in the street,
“For ‘e’s looking ‘ungry, an’ he’s got to eat!”
“You berk!” said a Chaosman, rubbing his eyes,
“Chicken you goristro feed a on wings and thighs!”
“Is THAT how I keep ya?” asked the Cager to his pet
And the Goristro shook his head.
“How do I keep a goristro?” asked the man in the Gym,
“For I won him a week back, and I still ain’t fed ‘im!”
“No sweat,” said a Cipher, contemplating her navel,
“Just say kind words to him when you’re willing and able.”
“Is that how I keep ya?” asked the Cager with a sigh,
“Oh, you’re shaking your head. I think I know why.”
“How do I keep you?” asked the man to his Tanar’ri,
“I’ve thought for a fortnight, and it’s drivin’ me barmy!”
And then the goristro bit the man on the knee!
And snapped at his arm, “Oh, you want to eat me!?”
“IS THAT HOW I KEEP YA?” he screamed as he fled,
And the goristro nodded his head!
— [ Phil says: ‘With apologies to Terry Jones, whose poem ‘The Boldimun and the Ig’ inspired this!‘ But also apologies to Phil Smith, because his original lyrics where the Cager got eaten were apparently a step too far for Udio’s content filter :]
