What's all this barmy stuff?
Want to find out what has been forgotten in the Styx?
Not enough barminess for you?
of Little Bedtime Legend
All types of monsters are said to have a archetype creature of barmily legendary proportions, a mum to them all so to speak, that was the first of their kind to pop into existence. Chant has it these creatures are larger, practically infinitely infinitely huge they say, lumbering beats that have a squint that'd make any child want to scream on the ground and confess they didn't eat out of the theoretical cookie jar of the powers, but it doesn't take a barmy to figure out that's the barmiest theory ever. They have it backwards, as you don't need something really big to spawn a whole generation of monstrous things, just look at looming pine trees and little acorns, or giant snapping turtles and tiny green spotted eggs. On the infinite planes size really doesn't matter, and the reason no one has found these true monsters of legend is because they're really small. And when they do find them, the small, cute, little fluffy, adorable creatures never make it in to legends of battles and history, but into the bedtime stories of children.
I see the tail of the ferocious legendary Hydra of Infinite Heads of the
Lands of Out! Come forth evil beast and meet your doo... um.... um... Your
sodding tiny! Why's he sodding tiny?"
The bedtime monsters can be easily imagined and painted inside a bonebox by picturing a monster such as the ferocious Chimera, and then concentrating hard as you imagine it being smaller in the swirling emptiness of your mind. Or, just imagine it next to a happy drunken dwarf that's bigger then it. Our bedtime Chimera is no bigger then a little kitty, has a small salamander head that's drooling all over it's nice shiny coat, and the wings of a small frumpy bat. But of course the changes are not just fluff deep, the creatures size making it somewhat weaker, but what evil person would attack the cute whittle thing? (Consider it's charisma a number best based as exponential, or acutely cute). Also, the powers of our little Chimera are also affected, it's ferocious clawing and fiery breath instead censored for the more humorous and pleasing ability for the creature to widdle on your foot. And if you thought a power sending a giant ferocious giant chimera after you was trouble, you don't realize that a truly evil power would give you a little cute bedtime Chimera and make you feed all the heads with a bottle as they try to playfully bite your ears off.
All content copyright 2000 Jeremiah Golden or credited authors.