What's all this barmy stuff?
Want to find out what has been forgotten in the Styx?
Not enough barminess for you?
With Savorus drawing to a close, the celebrations just starting to die down, we'd like to offer something special for all you Sensate namers out there. So with that we present all you enterprising Sensate's out there:
Pickup Lines To get a Berk Slapped
1. (to Erin) There's nothing like an old Darkflame, they say.
"Tortoise never saw the stars, his head always to the ground as he marched
along. But then Isis, in the revolted form of an old Vulture, came to look upon Tortoise
as he tumbled along the desert grounds, and an evil streak in her eyes she flipped
Tortoise over to stop him. She wanted to eat his insides, but instead Tortoise saw the
stars for the first time. Isis wanted to eat him and he knew it, but he still loved her
for showing him the great gift of the stars. This passion called upon her holiness Ishtar,
who had been hunting Isis, and she struck down the evil vulture. The Tortoise looked up
and asked why she had killed the vulture, for it had given him a great gift. She said the
vulture was evil even if it did good be accident, and she herself could show Tortoise true
goodness. With this she turned Tortoise's shell into a bright star, allowing him to fly up
into the sky."
"Woh there you land dweller, you look a bit green, and I dare say that tends
to clash with the Dancing Light's hull. Steady now. So, you want to know about
the constellations in the fair sky of Thalasia we sail by eh? Take a look through the
sextant here now, see those group of stars over there? We call those the Turtle Dove, with
the wings extending beyond those two bright ones over there. Now, you probably won't
believe me, none of you philosophers from Sigil seem to do, but those aren't gods palaces,
or souls or whatever explanation you have for stars on infinite planes this week. No,
those are Terbals, little creatures with shells like bright balls of light, barmiest thing
I've ever seen. But it's true, I've met the brightest star their of the Turtle Dove
myself, little old wizened fellow. Told him how useful they where to sailing, and he just
said they like the view"
"Oh, right, yes, I'm a star. Um, yeah part of the old Twined Trunks, upper
left, can't miss me. Fly every winter like clockwork. Winters a good constellation season,
means I get the summer off. I usually go paddle in the Oceanus, though tends to be hard
getting water out of the old shell"
Terbal are a race of tortoise-like humanoids from Elysium, appearing about the height of a halfling but much thinner, their shell actually composed of a glowing ball of light about two feet across. What makes them interesting is the fact that they curl themselves within their ball of light like shell, and fly about like a ball of faerie fire, actually flying in groups slow enough, and more importantly on a strict schedule, in order to be used by sailors and travelers as constellations to plot their course. Some of the more known constellations are the Turtle Dove, Baleana, Twined Trunks, and Four Virtues. Though encountered on all the layers of Elysium, their most common on Amoria, the City of the Stars the only place where they gather in large number, and Thalasia, where most of their constellation like groups fly about the sky.
Terbals have strict flying schedules, wouldn't want a loose star flying around afterall, would muck up all the charts, so there tend to be a few hanging around Elysium on there off time. Most are into sailing or navigation of some type, but quite a few are also actors or artisans. Really old terbals, having grown brighter with age, but also heavier, leave the constellation business and instead usually go off to live in lighthouses across the coast of Oceanus, their light casting out in the dark while they philosophize. These old terbals tend to criticized as "barmy old hermits", but are usually the best people to seak out if your looking for something In Elysium, as they've flown over its landscape for all their life. The terbals base nature still slow and thoughtful, one can always still see the touch of Ishtar in them, for they are passionate about whatever they do. This tends to lead most people to think of them as eccentric, or "with their heads in the clouds" but considering this can be said of most people in Elysium, Terbals are actually some of more interesting and driven people a berk can meet.
Barmy Brotos' Used
"Yesss, welcome to Barmy Borotssss' Usssed Ssslaves! Everyone
musst go! We have incredible dealss that would make a baatezu go barmy! Why, jusst look at
thiss fine young man! No, no, the bloodstainss will wash off in mere momentss! And all for
the low low pricce of 3 jinx and 99 greenss! You can't beat thesse dealss even if you
ssold yoursself to the 'lothss! Why? Becausse we're baaaaaaarmy! And, if you buy
a sslave from us before Decadre 1sst, you'll be entered in our grand prize draw for a
brand-new dungeon, complete with the latesst in torture acesssssoriess! Tso get yoursself
down to Barmy Borotsss' Ussed Sslavess on Tsaints Walk today!"
"And I thought I'd seen it all.
Northshore, a little page made by the guys that are creating Planescape: Torment to show all the behind the scenes stuff, have made a very barmy sneak preview of the newest Torment level. Take a glance over there, and watch out for that clown!
to the Spire Butterfly
Sitting by the Spire, where the tall grass grows,
The beauty of the Spire Butterfly is like that of the Spire itself... they're a mysterious presence that a cutter takes for granted, but if pondered, are one of the greatest beauties out there in the vast infinities. On a field day from the Gatehouse one day that our good gardener, Pekan, decided to take us on, we got taken out to look at the Standing Stones in the Outlands, near the Spire. They're big, barmy rocks said to have lives of their own - they very, very slowly orbit the Spire. I strayed a little bit, and ended up lying in the shade of the afternoon, on the Upper Planar side of the Spire, staring up at the infinite skies. Soon enough, with a slightly electric tingle in the air heralding their arrival, came a flight of the little beauties... butterflies of all color imaginable. The soft, heavy footsteps of a demarax chasing it's food came along with them. A silently flapping flock of multicolored beauty watching a giant purple lizard chasing a whizzing spell crystal across the savage, mind bogglingly bizarre beauty of the Outlands. I love field trips.
They fluttered over my head, and I shivered all over. The site was almost the kind you'd expect after you had tea with Psilofyr; and I've done that, so I know 'bizarre' when I see it. Rainbow waves of magic rushed over me, their slightly flapping wings delivering a breeze across my face. The demarax continued thud-thudding across the landscape in search of his supper, followed by the butterflies - apparently in search of some fun.
The slight storm of magical wings was gone almost as soon as it started, and the infinite, blue Outlands sky was again visible. Lying in the grass, I stared straight up at Sigil for a few minutes (and I swear I saw my window in the Gatehouse gleaming), and heard the feet of Pekan coming gently through the grass to get me back into the group again.
Sitting in the Gatehouse, where none but the barmies go,
All content copyright 1999 Jeremiah Golden or credited authors.