What's all this barmy stuff?
Want to find out what has been forgotten in the Styx?
Not enough barminess for you?
We here at the Spire like to name anything we come across, especially the rocks and clouds that we like to talk too. So, to find out how we name are rocks, or you want to do something really barmy like name an Npc, check out this weeks feature How to Name a Rock.
Everyone knows about the Rule of Threes right? Well, long ago, lets see it was before Factol Hashkar's reign, must of been, hmm, 37th year of Factol Lariset's reign? Anyway, long ago an older rule then the Rule of Three took its place. It was called the Primes Rule, and basically stated any prime number, not just 3, had power. 3, 5, 17, all can be found on the planes, from 5 plane groupings, outer, astral, prime, ethereal, inner, to 17 planes in the outer planes.
Unfortunately, some clueless came to the planes, started yelling "Primez Rule!", and the rule eventually got changed, after an efficient push of the clueless back to their home turf, to the Rule of Threes we all know and love.
Now, as to why I brought this up, it seems someone known as Primes Rule (Pr / human / W36 / Clueless / CG) has shown up, says he was on the planes back when the primes rule still existed, claiming some godly artifact or some such has kept him going all the time. He's shown up in Sigil, at least his astral ghost has, the sodding chicken, and has been floating around Rule of Threes, making obscure gestures, and shouting "Iz gonna r3place U Rulz ov 3!"
The point of all this though, I'm giving him 10 to 1 odds he'll not last the week. Anyone for a wager?
I was trying to convince a friendly rock I had been talking to for the last couple of hours, that belief shaped the multiverse. At first, I'd tried the philosophical point, trying to convince the rock that if I wasn't talking to him, would he even exist? Or even know how to talk? He wasn't convinced. So, I tried the more direct method. I told him I'd believe the spire into being upside down!
Which of course, is quite an easy feat. Grinning at the rock, I rolled over, lifting me feet into the air and balancing on my head. And behold, the spire was upside down. Of course, the rock didn't see it that way yet. Grabbing him, trying to show him that belief could really change just by flipping him over, I managed to accidentally fall over, the rock and my head meeting in a slow bang.
Luckily my unconscious state allowed me to wake up to quite a surprise, and giving me the excuse to investigate why a tower seemed to have grown up in front of me.
It was quite an impressive tower, towering up above my upside down head almost six stories of black stone. Around its base vines wound around, obscuring something within that seemed to be moving. The top of the tower was surrounded by the misc. sharp metal bits and spikes that are so common in the multiverse. A few small windows spiraled up it base, and a clear spot in the vines housed a small door.
"Aha!", I thought, "here are alot of rocks I could talk too!" I sat up, rubbing the bump on my head, and started walking towards the tower. Just as I did so, suddenly it stood up, large insect like legs appeared out of the vinery, six in all, with the two back ones larger like those of a grasshopper. It stood up, the tower base now far off the ground, and with a quick flex, leaped over me, and landed with a thud behind.
Grinning at my new find, I turned around and walked slowly towards the tower, but this time talking smoothly, "Don't be afraid my little tower! I just want to talk to you". This seemed to satisfy it, as it settled down and it's door slowly creaked open.
The inside of the tower wasn't nearly exciting enough for me, just a simple spiral stair leading up to a room, and inside it only a table with a small metal disc. Poking around to see if there was any barmy stuff to talk too, I eventually gave up, grabbed the disc, and walked back to stand in front of the tower.
"Lady's Grace again tower! Where's your owner? And what's this disc", and I said, waving the disc around a bit to show it what I was talking about.
The only response I got to this however was the tower jumping up and down with quick "poing" sounds while it slammed its door open and close.
Shrugging, and trying to see if I could get this interesting tower do anything else, I threw the disc into the air. It caught quite easily, floating easier then a metal disc normally would. But the disc's fascinating properties where nothing compared to what the tower did.
With a leap and a bound, it jumped up after the disc, catching it quickly in its door, and then bounded back to me, planting itself inches from my feet, and opening its door, the disc rolling out onto my feet.
Grinning, I picked up the disc again and threw it farther this time. The tower again did its performance, but this time, its opening door caught me on the head, passing me out cold for the second time that day. Talking to rocks can make for quite an interesting day.
Which again, was all for the better, for upon waking, I had an idea. Rolling out of the tower doorway, I grinned and looked up at the tower.
"Spireward Tower! Want to have a bit of fun?"
The tower responded with more poinging up and down jumps and slamming of its door, so I continued.
"Right! Here's what we do, we go to Tradegate, and I'll rent you out to some sod. Then, the next morning, we take a trip to Semuanya's Bog, lots of frogs you'll love it, so when are surprised renter wakes up, bam, he's in the middle of a stinking bog! Ah, the look that's going to be on his face!"
With my best barmy grin on my face, I walked into the tower and we bounced off to Tradegate.
All content copyright 1999 Jeremiah Golden or credited authors.