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Barmy Spotlight of the Week
Uncaged: Faces of Sigil, page 42.
Brandy Street man-hole (to Carceria, gatekey 'holding your nose and looking silly'). I have seen many berks use this in the day, and have signed it's death on my list. Though I have tried many times to destroy it, it only grows larger as I break it away! Then those smug dabus come along, with a bigger manhole to place on top, a smiling Lady's face engraved on it's metal top. I plan now to go at it with the most cunning of weapons... mortar and brick.
Hive ooze portal (To Ooze, gatekey 'stepping in it'). A nuisance even to the average cutter, people have tried to bribe me to go after these things. Not just an ordinary puddle, they seem to slink along the ground and grow arms to trip you up while your trying to innocently pour quick drying sand in them. One of the suckers even pulled my scarf into it, the first portal to ever bloody fight back. I have put them on the bottom of my list, surely they work against the Lady, until I find a way to dispose of them. Until then, I've taken to throwing other portals in the things, breaking doorways and small arches and dumping them in.
Lady's Ward mansion wardrobe (To Arborea, gatekey 'a twinkling bell'). Unknown even to the snobby high-ups who make their home here, I have spied that this portal is a major route to Arborea, truly a gem to snatch away from the Lady. Though the wardrobe is simple to destroy, the two times I have snuck in at the dead of peak, a larger tiefling lady has beat me on the head with a pillow for sneaking around her clothes. Only my quick wit and fingers allowed me to escape, and I have waited on this portal until I find away pass the fearsome demon the guards it.
The long month of Mortis gets you thinking about death and whatnot. Well, not really, but it did get Mr. Charles Darlose thinking a bit about what in bloody hell the Dustmen's Faction logo exactly is...
"The Dustmen symbol, eh? Datsineasy one! Iz a
dee-mon-ick tell-ee-foon. Daswhat Factol Skall's less-dead Dead use to
call him up when e's being more dead dan dayare!"
"A demonic telephone? I doubt it. It's obviously a
picture of Skall's dear mum. He's said himself that he isn't truly dead,
so until he is, he holds onto life with this memoir of his more, well
alive, past. Rumors that it's Skall's face are obviously wrong - note the
red lips. Only women liches wear that shade of pink, it stands to reason."
"It's Dustpeople! That is, um, I have no strong emotion
about how you say it, but it's bloody dust-people, people, not
dustmen, you berk! Ahem, cool, clam, yes, that's the way... Oh, the
symbol? It's sign we're so bloody emotionless we can't think of decent
symbol, that's what it means."
"They're Skall's bloody undead eyes, unholy things, trying to
claim your soul for his army of death! Fear not, my good man, for I
will not allow this evil to continue! I shall slay Skall, and bring a halt
to this unclean unity of death and life!"
"I give him fifteen minutes. The symbol, m'boy? Is nothin more'n a
bit o' paper maché wrapped over a bottle uvv beer, because everyone knows
them Deadies like to drown their emotions out anyway posible. The pink
lipstick? Er, um."
"*wink* You know what that pink lipstick is there for."
"Factol Zkall eez a crozzz drezzzer! Factol Zkall eez a
"It's one of those coin banks, I always thought. You put a green
in it's mouth, and the eyes light up. That's what my mum always told me,
anyway. She used to also say that you can put anything in it's mouth, and
the eyes light up, because death is free. So are taxes..."
"Watch where yez'iz going, yez bloody sod!"
All content copyright 1999 Jeremiah Golden or credited authors.