What's all this barmy stuff?
Want to find out what has been forgotten in the Styx?
Not enough barminess for you?
|Second Hive of Mortis
November 12th, 1999
Barmy Spotlight of the Week
Monstrous Appendix Compendium II, page 50.
are the messengers of those powers of the upper planes, and it explains
allot of powers that their first contact with mortals or worshipers is in
the shape of a small, golden haired, white winged elephant. Needless to
say, it can be a bit hard taking Thor seriously when he sends one of these
little guys to tell you about his big festivity coming up. That said,
aren't these guys the cutest thing ever? They whoosh about the upper planes, and
are often found quite frequently on the prime, buzzing around trumpeting
the news to the power's worshipers. Their trunks, while not only really
silly looking when their all curled up at the end, are also more deadlier
then a green steal sword with spiky bits on both ends. Blasts, drums,
sparkles, these little guys can shoot anything out of their trunks to ward
off evil berks, I wouldn't even be surprised if they could pull rabbits
out of there. If I was an evil berk, I can say that a small flying
elephant shooting rabbits would scare the Baator out of me. They also tend
to stick close to any adventurers that make their way on the planes, as
mortals obviously need looking after, and who better to keep the powers
eye on them then the inconspicuous hollyphant?
Barminess: It's a barmy
fluffy flying elephant that is a messenger of acute goodness.
"Honk-sputter-blunk! I great thee! Thy message hath arrived."
Likes: Messages that rhyme
and have a nice rhythm, they never get a chance to practice their musical
talents, as powers usually have short messages like "Surrender
mortal!" and not snappy poems.
Archons, those celestials going around blowing their little horns makes a
hollyphants wings shudder. The joke, "Why can a hollyphant
fly?", the last person to ask ended up eternally getting pecked by
ravens and chained to a floating rock. Powers love a good joke... and dislike people
messing with their messengers.
Messenge in a... small fluffy elephant.
Hollyphants are always about delivering messages, often verbal and
sometimes more then one at a time. Needles to say there are allot of
hollyphants buzzing about the place, and many more messages to be
delivered, and thus there's always hollyphants talking to all kinds of
people, whether on power business or just gossiping about their latest
messages. Bellow are just a few of the messages we've heard hollyphants
passing to and fro in our visits to the upper planes, and it's not like
it's eavesdropping when the hollyphant practically shouts out its message
from the powers in its trumpety voice. Just roll three times and you
have a fluffy hollyphant message!
Table of Hollyphant Messages
||"The all mighty
and powerful Thor...
||...commands you to
travel to Bytopia and have a large cabbage meal with...
||"The bright and
shining, she who is a bright star, Ishtar...
||...is in a most holy
and righteous war, thought they still have tea occasionally of
archon of wisdom and justice."
goddess of healing and good,...
||...wishes to smite
those unbeliever Athar for going and putting paintings of evocative
nature on the temples and doubling the power's worshipers, and has
decided to deal with by making a proxy of and sending...
||...a group of mortal heroes,
who get to have a special hollypahnt each to protect them, and
tell them even more gossip!"
||"He of noble
fangs and moonlight hunting, the great Wolf Lord...
||... orders you to go
forth to the fathomable depths of Baator, step lightly past 'loths
and 'lethes, travel the uncountable layer of the Abyss, then make
an epic recital and tell it to...
||"Marduk, ruler of
Marduk, he of Mardukyness,...
||...wishes you to come
to their realm, partake of a giant feast in your honor, drink to
your noble deeds and doings, and then as reward of your great
undertakings allow you to serve a hundred hundred years in service
||...a barmy at the
gatehouse, the one who likes sock puppets, drools allot, and has a
phobia about tables."
queen of faeries, Lady Morwel...
||...plans to, of course
in in the form of a beautiful glowing being of appropriate race
and gender, seduce and send flowers to...
hopefully one of those stuffy ursinal ones that sits around in a
cottage writing about old books and knows lots of interesting
and voted one of the powers to have the most fun playing with
||...just got done
smiting, and generally cursing about and throwing a temper at...
||... Factol Erin
Motgomery of the Sensates."
of good, favorite of hollyphant affections even if he does get
||...has grown tired of
sitting around in a dusty realm with boring petitioners, and so
has taken a nice sabbatical and left in charge of the realm...
||...the Lady of Pain.
Last Week's Chant
All content copyright 1999 Jeremiah
Golden or credited authors.