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Second Void of Catechism

August 14th, 1999


The Barmy Shorts Company has done it again, this time with a short story depicting what happens when certain factols get together. A night of barminess to be sure, especially when one of them thinks life's a party and another wants to burn the house down. Without further ado, check out Lady's Night.


Second Low of Catechism

August 13th, 1999


The latest issue of the Stuffed Slaadi is out, bringing the barmy chant on Grazz't, Leequids, and Funnel Mountain. According to a recent Guvner poll, the Stuffed Slaad has made more people go crazy then any other paper. The only reason the Harmonium isn't trying to shut them down is because the bloody sissies are afraid of all the slaad.

Issue 8 of the Year
Someone got Ate by a Blue Slaad

Grazz't to picks Limbo bride. This bit of chant was confirmed today by Lady Omigawd, githzerai noble and chatmonger, who says Grazz't hasn't picked one of those "lower-planar floozies" but instead Limbo's very own Miss Limbo, the gorgeous slaadi Vranybabombrag. "Yes he's definitely picked her, why the lovely children they'll have! Also, did I tell you who Factol Terrance was seen kissing yesterday? You'll never believe it, it was..." Unfortunately Lady Omigawd had to run away from a walking bed, but we continue to follow the story of Grazz'ts Wedding as news shatters.
- Xüller Twee

Leequides, a type of creature from Limbo just newly discovered, and most likely forgotten about again, were arrested to day while pilfering in a local Xaos bar. They were drunk, by Slaadi that is, and escorted to the prison for their own safety. However at the time the prison of Xaos had turned into a large water slide, so the Leequids where no sooner safe then some tiefling children decide to smear them down the stone waterway. The leequids where not recovered.- Xüller Nedlog

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Funnel Mountain. A tall man came bumbling through beautiful liquid Xaos the other week or what, gibbering. Of coarse, we mostly gibber here, but the fact was that he was we were all gibbering, but he was on the topic of his climbing an inverted mountain. Said that he'd gotten a mountain, right, back on a prime, and with a little bit of focus ,musta been a psi or somesuch, I think, they gibber like mad, them, and a ploink noise, it was inside out. So he climbed it all up to the peek, or, the bottom of the funnel, depending on perspective, and there was a rilmani who claimed he was the head of a vast criminal organization. More of this story on page -2.
- Xüller Balon

Dear Slaadi, has the local Outlands spice trade spread to Xaos?

Of course. Why we have cinnamon and nutmeg in barrelfuls coming by local trade routs lately. In fact spice tarts have been especially common of late, in fact I just ate one with bit of whip cream on top. Hmm, seems to be spot, excuse while I use this handy paper for a napkin.

- "1 after anti-peak" To'bug, Blue Slaad, Assistant-Editor

Weather - A downpour of trousers, so many that even the slaads and chaos imps are wearing them. And trust me, theirs no weirder site then a slaadi in trousers.

Horiscope - Tomorrow Xaos will have a day of stability, please do not panic, as it's bad for your karma. Also, don't wear red.



Second Clerk of Catechism

August 11th, 1999


Scurry, scurry, wererats have always been known to be around and about Sigil, but it was only after a small rat visited my cell one day in the Gatehouse that I learned the real dark. The bloody rats had their own guild, scurry, scurry, and their scratching was still driving me mad. Nice rat though, very courteous.

Planerats Guild
(Scurriers, Meeces)

Original idea by Rasgon, expanded on by Jeremiah Golden

A Brief History. The Planerats Guild was formed sometime ago when the factions first started taking over. The wererats in the city knowing if they didn't work together they would be ousted by the factions, they decide to form their own guild. This at least is the story they tell officially, in reality they wanted to separate themselves from the wererats in every other city in the multiverse, saying "We're not like those other bloody wererats, we hauve a Sect. See, we have a factol and a little symbol on a pin, cutter." Now a days more then wererats make up the sect with cranium rats, rat burglars, and other planar rodents now taking places in its membership.

"We will rise and take Sigil from these puny factions,
striking from the shadows to
... EEEEK! I have to go."
- Factol Jairee

Philosophy. Scurry in the shadows, scavenge what you can, and avoid the big cats. The Scurriers philosophy revolves around the original wererats goal to take control of the Cage from beneath the streets, but also the need to hide their identity and wait in the gutters until this goal comes about. Mostly though it's real underlying philosophy is to band to together so they don't end up a damp squeak in the night.

Factol. The current factol is the wererat Jairee (Pl/ Wererat / Scurriers / LE). He is actually a planar wererat, having not only the lycanthropey in his history, but also the blood of fiends. In his humanoid shape he appears as a tiefling with dark reddish skin and a long ragged streak of hair. In both his humanoid and hybrid forms he wears the ever stylish armor of pointy bits, and a dark crimson cloak ragged from use. His mental state is a bit uncertain, as his mixed bloods have played on his mind, besides giving him the downsides of being fiendish and hairy. He talks big when around his fellows Planerats, but if real power threatens he tends to turn into a scampering rat. Literally I mean, as he accidentally changes forms when his mind takes another dive.

Primary Plane of Influence. Though the Planerats primary influence is in the streets and catacombs under Sigil, they have a few lose ties around the planes. Mostly having ties in the gutters of planar cities such as Xaos and Ribcage, they also surprisingly have a group in Mechanus above ground working in a clockwork business of Hickory, Dickory, Dock, and Sons. They are also starting to gain hold in cities on the prime where rats and wererats conjugate, making them one of the stronger sects on the prime material besides the Harmonium.

Allies and Enemies. The main allies of the guild are those living in the gutters or Hive, which makes them strong allies of the Xaositects. There are actually a few members that are in both sect and faction, calling themselves Xaosirats. The guilds enemy are far more in number, including most of the factions in the city (nobody likes rats in their cellars), the various ratcatchers around the city, and of course any cats. These include the normal variety, but also hellcats, cats of Bast, cats of the Catlord, weretigers, cats from the plane of Shadow, or basically any other creature that meows and has claws up its arm. Recently the Planerats have also come in conflict with the Us, the intelligent group of cranium rats seeing itself as a better candidate for factol.

Eligibility. Members can only be rats or rat-like creatures, though this also counts any humanoid who hasn't taken a bath and lived in the gutter most of their lives.

Benefits. All members have the ability to scavenge, which allows them to find shelter or food in the most unlikely things, usually tending to be damp, dirt covered, and moldy. This means members of the guild can pretty much survive anywhere on the planes.

Factotums gain the ability to hide in shadows (as per a 5th level thief), allowing them to scurry around within the darkness of Sigil.

The Factol has the ability to summon normal rats, able to call up to ten per hour to his aid, who stay with him for up to a day. They can either fight for him or bring him various small objects. Factol Jairee tends to have thirty or more squirming around him, sending them to bring him various bottles of ale or to raid the Guvners library.

One of the less commonly known benefits is the guilds knowledge of portals. Every portal in the city that consists of a latrine, gutter, manhole, or sewer pipe is remembered be the guild, and for the right price even an outsider can learn about them. That is if it's worth going through a whole maze of slime and gunk to get where your going.

Restrictions. No one tends to like to hang around with the guild members (-6 to charisma for anyone whose taken a bath lately), and the resources of the guild are very limited. The best a member of the Scurriers can hope for when he's in trouble is that the others will wait a bit before they scavenge everything off his corpse.


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All content copyright 1999 Jeremiah Golden or credited authors.