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Barmy to
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Barmy to the Spire

Barmiest Barminess


Eve's Hallow
One of the most emotional, and extremely witty, stories of the Barmy Shorts Company. In this well penned story the bleaknik Eve recites the telling of a barmy obsessed with the Lady to a group of ragged little Gatehouse orphans. Though the pour barmy Lammus finds himself in a deadly love for the Lady of Pain, the true loss is of his other fondness, a mortal girl with a tear in her eye.

"The Bleakers nodded, and she began to tell the tale in the same silky voice she told it in every year. Like a cat rubbing affectionately against it's owners legs, her words cooed in the ears of children and aged Bleakers alike."

The amusingly silly Hollyphant, a small elephant with wings that serves the powers of good, gets detailed in a Barmy Spotlight to make the little fellow squeak, and throws in a bonus of the very barmy table to roll up your own hollyphant messages.

"The all mighty and powerful Thor... orders you to go forth to the fathomable depths of Baator, step lightly past 'loths and 'lethes, travel the uncountable layer of the Abyss, then make an epic recital and tell it to... a hollyphant."

Fluffyness in Nothingness
A barmy adventure for grizzled 'soppy people who like fuzzy things', Fluffyness spans the players through the Astral in search of a lost kodragon, who's mysterious not-there-anymore, like everything on the Astral, has led to a queen being sent wary, and a pawn that no one knows where it should be. An adventure that's sure to delight any a player, if they don't get lost in all the fluff.

"Though tending only to make it through half the conversation without cursing when a streaker swoops in and pecks him on the head, or worse leaves him a little present, he's not known as much for his talk as for his second passion, games, from darts to poker to chess."

A Demonslayer in Heaven
The critically acclaimed, and truly barmy inspiring, journal of a prime paladin who gets a bit lost in his trip to the eye-boggling planes, to say the least, as he travels and barges his way to Mount Celestia in search of 'demons'. A humorous account unfolds as his skewed perception truly changes what he sees, a true sign of any giggling barmy on a quest.

"I was about to venture forth and test the water, when a strange fish creature emerged, grinning at me. The fiendish creatures clicked and whistled at me, and to my shame I fled. This accursed land tries to confuse me mind with demons of fish!"

Faxtion War
A favorite of many, including the barmy author, this playful parody on the controversial Faction War takes a look at how the faxtions would deal with having to abandon their colors, including a full timeline of humorous events and an ending that only a dabus could induce.

"The Faxtion War starts with a barmy, as many wars do. He had a pretty gem, and had very little to do with the start of the war, but there has to be a barmy in here somewhere."

Xaos Jingle
Another superb tale by the Barmy Shorts Company, this story tells, in a festival and lighthearted spirit, the tale of the little May LaQotte as she waits for jolly old Qris to visit her this Karan's day. While the Hive is always more shadow then jolliness, this Xaositect story spins the yarn over the events and people within, just as the snow flakes quietly cover the rubble and cobbles.

"His sharp, skinny features radiated warmth and some feeling of jollyness. His boots had curled up toes, with bells on their tips. Covered in soot, he sipped at his drink, his eyes sparkling out at the Cage."

The mad, and extremely barmy, ex-factol of the Bleakers falls under the Barmy Spotlight, a mad githyanki knight lady rumored to have strange powers. Though little chant is known about her, we still manage to scrape up her likes, favorite eatery, and a scrap of her last bowl of pourage. Plus, in a extra special bonus, we detail every orphans favorite game, Where in Sigil is Barmy Tollysalmon?

"There's not a single person at the Gatehouse you could ask that wouldn't say something nice about the old factol, usually along the lines 'She was a real charmer, old Factol Tolly, sad to see here go, ooh, porridge!' or "'I don't hav a mum, bus ifs I did I'd wanna a mum likes her. She's got psychobarmyspoon powurs!'"


All content copyright 1999 Jeremiah Golden or credited authors.